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I have met a few people who have successfully had a long-distance relationship end up in marriage. I also found out most people when asked would rather not have a long distance relationship even if they really like their partner or breakup with their partner when one of them has to move or travel to another place for work,study and other reasons.
Most people talk about cheating, while some spoke about loneliness, sex and said it is too stressful. So its better not to try it or just breakup.
I think you would do whatever you want to do whether your partner is there or not. And i also think nowadays most of us are too impatient and lack endurance which ironically are qualities needed in a successful relationship and marriage. And that is why, divorce rates are soaring and relationships don't last long!
What are your views? Please share your thoughts.
Me i can't try it! it's not for everyone!
ReplyDeleteWhy wud i want to stress myself? It's not worth it! phone or skype love
ReplyDeleteWhether a relationship survives past obstacles brought forth, depends on so many factors, that it's hard to really give solid/general advice (it should be dependent on the context). Distance, financial collapse, and injury, are some of the biggest obstacles. Some of these factors can be as direct as a person's character, to as subtle as the nature of the connection itself.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I feel the members of a relationship have managed to make a worthwhile (read: worth waiting for) bond between each other, then they both have an almost instinctual desire to keep it, and will act on this TO THE BEST OF THEIR ABILITIES AND MORALS (no bold function?).
I disagree that a partner will do whatever he/she wants, independent of the other partner's presence/absence - I assume you're referring to lust and cheating in particular. Sex feels good. One partner disappears for a long period of time, and the other tries to feel good again. Mind you, I'm not condoning this, and it does show huge cracks in the cheat's character, but the thought process is understandable.
Love, morals, experiences, and belief are what gauge and maintain the strength and length of a relationship the most. I'd say the love part is relatively easiest, and comes naturally to most. Someone not in love, would call of a relationship in face of light obstacles (let alone huge ones like distance), or cheat without any logical reason. In contrast, a person's upbringing and experiences of someone from an African or Indian country (for the majority of people), would subconsciously influence them to keep a relationship intact - whether or not they FEEL like dissolving it. In an ideal context, such a background could be beneficial or could be excruciating. The "western" (more like global nowadays) culture of just getting the fuck out when something is unsatisfying, can also be a double edged sword. So the divorce rates you speak of, also hold a high number of GOOD occurrences; the fact that a person is not lawfully and culturally bound to a person for life, can be a lifesaver in many instances, which is why I personally don't value that statistic in great regard.
I do agree however, that the mental endurance and patience of the average person, has greatly decreased over the last decade (I'd blame technology and culture for this) , and does influence the string linking two people together. While this is true though, the other factors play an equally large role, and so it's hard to say really.
My personal advice to anyone having trouble considering long distance relationships would be to rely on the "easy part" first: If you have to consider it, don't continue. If you don't have a burning, or at least strong, desire to be with that person, whatever the obstacle, then don't bother. Going along with it will turn out bad more often than not, from my experience. That's not to say it's not impossible, but keeping another human being's trust and time spent waiting for you, is not something you want to have on your shoulders, unless you won't even feel the burden because of the desire. That's my rule of thumb anyway, make of it what you will.
Inappropriate albeit inevitable in some relationships. Same values acquired in enduring its pangs would be golden in sustaining a fulfilling marriage. A harsh litmus test to love and self control.
ReplyDeleteI think long distance relationship is not for everyone...you have to really know what you want, if that person is worth waiting for, not just that, you have to endure, sacrifice, and be patient, which some persons are not willing to do.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you be in a relationship with someone you don't want and who is not worth waiting for? What would be the reason for the relationship in the first place? Cheating is not understandable in anyway. If your partner can stay why can't you. Relationship based on sex would always collapse.
ReplyDeleteEasy part in a relationship doesn't really exist. To sustain and keep a successful relationship you have to be tough,distance or no distance.